The Horrible Life of Steve Harvey Oswald
Think of it as the JFK assassination meets Naked Lunch.
JFK: Final Desecration
Finally, the mystery of who shot JFK has been solved
- by AI technology!
Like anyone might do, I asked my computer for an image of Bigfoot shooting President Kennedy from the Grassy Knoll, and less than a minute later the JFK Universe unfolded in a way I had never seen.
Don’t Eat the Strawberry Shortcake There, Man
I never felt so sick as when I tried to get well.
The most damaged person there was the “Shaman” himself, stinking drunk in soaking wet tighty-whities.
A year later he fell, or was more likely pushed, out of one of the treehouses on his armed compound.
The Velveteen Machine Gun
I remember when Nerf made footballs.
Will he love his toy gun so much that it becomes real?
I Shared a Toilet with Joey Ramone
It’s hard to be the guy pouring drinks with a skyline view and not think for a minute that it is my party, my terrace, my guests, and my world.
For a moment, it was.
Coffee, Bubba?
I was a working-class playboy, living off the scraps of gentlemen and flushing toilets behind the nouveau-riche when I bumped into the President of the United States, literally.
Notes upon Seeing a Jackson Pollock Retrospective on Mushrooms
Painting happens in the space and time between painter and canvas.
The painting is but a memory of the artwork.
I Saw Where Martin Luther King Was Assassinated, and All I Got Was This T-Shirt
It’s a Civil Rights Museum because it’s no longer a movement.
“Is Our Children Learning?” - Yep, They Is
We, in the public school system, do not prepare our children for the real world. We do not help them develop their thinking processes in a way that genuinely helps them in life.
Individual teachers have the power to change how America raises its children, to turn apathy into interest. But we will burn-out fast and need constant replacement.
Pessimism for Beginners
The glass-half metaphor is bullshit and we all know it, but only the pessimist has the balls to admit it.
My “Support for the Cuban People” Itinerary
Please don’t hurt me, Mr. Customs man.
I promise I did not go to the beach or have a good time.
I Occupied Wall Street, and All I Got Was This T-Shirt
Why am I scared, intimidated, and bored by protest?
Doors of Perception: Learning and Leadership Grant
To fund our class trip to The Peyote Way Church of God, a non-sectarian, multicultural, experiential, Peyotist organization located in the remote Aravaipa wilderness of southeastern Arizona, as part of our Human Experience program, we need NEA Learning and Leadership funds, with which we will develop and improve tools and strategies for the continued improvement of college student consciousness that we can share nationwide.
Captured by the Empire
With a smile on my face and a tear in my eye, I am 10 years old again looking up at the huge screen where myths are made.
Ram This Truck
I will admit, as an admirer of Dr. King, that any use of his voice to sell a product will probably be met with some emotional and critical rejection from me.
One should not be surprised that a league that won’t allow its players to exercise their right of free speech would also be tone-deaf on other civil rights issues as well.
Hell, let’s just play some football.
Does Elon Dream of Martian Sheep?
My 2-year-old kid loved astronauts, which led me to apply for a job as a grant writer at SpaceX.
I knew I would have to kiss Elon's ass to be hired. This narrative got me the interview, and I was offered the job. But $40,000 a year to live in El Segundo?
Mars can wait.
My Dead Cat
I don’t want another cow to be slaughtered for my Big Mac.
I don’t want to step on another bug.